Incovarians

Incovarians, what does this title means??
more responsibilities, more inspiration, more excitement or more of others?

Incovarians have much more qualities , which is hard to be explained by words.
Incovar is a camp not only inspire people but teaching lay people like us to be a better person, giving out more helps to others.
Yesterday, in ajahn chah remembrance day, I can see a lot of familiar faces from incovar. Perhaps, they dun remember your name; perhaps they dunno which incovar u have been to, but they will always know that u are once an incovarian.

It makes me feel more at home. Sense of belonging to a place where everyone will have good will, good deed, good intention to you. And yes, this is a place call--incovar.

Sometimes i will think that, isin't it strange. There is always some sort of chemical reactions within incovarians. Spending only 4 days with each other in the camp, and can turned out to be very close friends that able to share voices of your heart to each other.

Under that atmosphere, with merits and love that spread out by others, even secret that never being revealed will be split out on that particular night, when we were blinded folded, making vows in heart that everything will kept within the four walls, we shared secrets with tears and hugs.

Life will not be so fun, if i never been to incovar.
I've gained much more than i have ever expected.

Ajahn Chah remembrance Day

16.01.2010

Ajahn Remembrance Day
Din expect much when first visit to this event.
Reached there early in the morning 6 sth, started the day off with ushering.
I always love ushering..
Putting up the greatest smiles to others, greeting a very good morning to all the guest present, and in return, you will get lots of smiles and greetings as well.

The morning started of with Dhamma talks and it ends off with more Dhamma talks.
Is a day we attained not only knowledges but also more merits for us and for our family.

There's a lot of dhamma I learned, but not all that i can digest and understand.
There is one ajahn, mentioned something about ajahn chah.
He said ajahn chaH always do things based on examples, in the morning, sometimes, sangha on duty dun even have chance to ring the bells, because ajahn chan will rang it before anyone woke up; you thought u will be the first one in the shine hall, ajahn chah will always be there, no matter how early you were;

Ajahn chah always set himself as an example.
And this is what a leader should have. Fierce when u need to, be good to everyone, be a teacher to everyone, sharing out merits and love without asking anything in return.

Mind controls our body. We have our own choice to choose whether we wan to be happy or not. Why do we have to suffer with all those negative feelings?
Yes , it did inspire me.
However, inspire not enough to make me able to apply it in my daily life.

I still will get disturb by negative feelings.
The time to get rid of all these...will be a time to infinity.

Brand new Hui shan..

First blog in year 2010..and this reminds me is time to set up my new year resolutions and works toward it. Is time to forget the past..and move forward..searching for a better and also brighter future.

Yes..last year 2009..was a year with lots of ups and downs, loops and bounds..
yes..first half of the year was great, everything seems to be in control, i have funs, i enjoyed my studies, my life...but things changed..second half of the year, everything hacked me without noticing me earlier. Things seems to be pouring down, i've got out of control in my life. Tears rolling down, i wet my pillows for countless night, i stared upon the star and make my wishes..but none of it comes true..may be i wasn't hardworking enough, may be i wasn't sincere enough.

I always thought that i was a good girl, i never do harm to anyone.. i always wanted to serve best to others, despite my own good. But bad things still come to me..testing my determination and toughness, testing me on how to survive in rough wave in the ocean. I almost drown. I admit. It was so tough to get back up. To back on track.

This year, once again i wishes upon the star. Crossing my fingers, in front of my heart, i sincerely pray that my new year resolutions will come true.

This year, i hope that it will be a good year, not only for me but for all of us.

My new year resolution:
1. Get back in control in my studies
2. Enjoy my uni life
3. Expand my social life
4. Sincere smile
5. Do more good to others
6. Keep fit..

Yes..
2010, a brand new year, may all the dark clouds left me.. left me far far away please..
i need more sunshine..
I need a good good year..

Happy new year..

Muazkx

where my heart goes?
I have no idea.
Read bout ET's blog lately...'life is complicated enough, so we don't complicate it anymore.'
I agree.

Life is always more than boys and girls relationship. Some see it as something very important, some don;t. As for me, of course it will be a great bonus in my life and i have no doubt eagerly waiting for this bonus.

Back to days where we have phone chat and more chat...which related not only to what we did recently but also into sex....there's no boundary and limits on our topics..but sometimes i'll think issit too much when we talked bout all these..

May be we won;t go any further ... or may be we will...
But life is always unpredictable..

I love sparks in my life... I love excitement....
And I'm waiting for love dust to sprinkle on me.

Bloody hell day.

What a day!!!
already have bad mood due to menstrual pain, and not sure why is it so pain this time as i dun normally suffered from menstrual pain,all these feelings go from bad to worst while i got that msg..in my inbox.
great...so that is it...one day before, we were still happily having our gathering and one day after that everythg just went so so wrong...ger...
yes we were wrong... we admitted and we apologised for that..
so why do we still accepting such an inbox msg?? or shall i put it as warning???
is a msg that dun expect any reply as suppose...as i dun think anyone of us know how to reply such a msg..
"so u guys happy la.." i dun like this line at all!! we are not happy!! why shall we? for being scolded??

so this is it right?? sometimes sorry just dun cure...
what else can i say??
there's nothing else we can do?
but we learned from mistake.
There's no more such a mistake happened whether is on us, or on u..

What a day?? testing my EQ on how far i can stand from bursting?
well great...i'm near to explosion!

久违了

久违了的部落格。
应该记载一下生活上的点点滴滴对吗？？但今天我想写的却是心里的想法。
曾经，我是很好面子的人。我在意别人对我的看法，所以我尽可能地做好本分，但很多时候，事与愿违。
很快地，我又要开学了。但这一次的开学，不会有兴奋或期待；只会有紧张和更多的紧张。
但，我期许我的未来会更美好。
加油！

梦想

最近是毕业高峰期。。。许多朋友都毕业了，朝着自己的前途及梦想前进。
梦想。。。还记得，我们都曾为了自己的梦想而迷茫的时候吗？
现在，我们都长大了，都朝着自己的梦想更近了。。。
但，越靠近，越觉得害怕，越觉得无可预知的未来更可怕。
那视乎是一个那么近，却有那么远的梦。
好久都没了那股想要追求自己梦想的冲动了。
曾经，有友人说过，他的梦并不在他正在做的工上；
也有友人说过，她毕业过后，未必会做回与她念的科系有关的工作；
那么，当初大家都曾追求的梦想呢？

已经忘了自己还雄心壮志的时候了，每天视乎像例行差事一样；重复的做着自己习惯的工作，像是麻木了
的机械人般，有条理的朝着已经分不清是责任，还是梦想的事情奋斗着。
梦想，还存在吗？？
梦想，到底是什么呢？
是一个遥不可及的海螫阁楼？？
还是，我们可以努力奋斗的目标？

我自己也分不清了。
梦想到底是离我越来越远？？还是越来越近呢？？
梦想，是瞬间灿烂，还是永恒美丽...

p/s:愿朋友们都朝着自己的梦想前进。