future?

May be is too late for me to think of this issue now, but then this thought just keep on played on my mind.
This failure makes me think more about my future.
Whether will I make it to a real licensed pharmacist. Whether will I be a successful one and love my job.
I just wasn’t sure and start to doubt my ability.
Yes. This is what I wanted so much. Years back. Now, if I am throw with this question again I wasn’t sure of the answer. Am I really suitable for this field?
If I was given a chance, I would actually like to try on business. Not to say that I wanted to quit pharmacy but then I would like to check out on what is business field all about.

Thinking back on my passion when I first stepped into this pharmacy field, with all the guts and aims to help people, to be a specialist on drugs, to make doctors know the existence of pharmacist , to bring out pharmacist as first line health care professional and no longer working behind the scene…..however, after years of hardwork, busy-ness and struggle in bpharm, I started to doubt on my determination in this field.

Yes, there is still passion and compassion to step into this field. To check out what is it when I’m a real licensed pharmacist having ward round in the bright white lab coat…..yet , I’m so doubt on my ability to carry out my role. My knowledge, my personalities, and professionalism as a future pharmacist, sufficient ? I wonder.

Failure is a step stone to succeed. I always know this. However is never easy to accept failure, especially when everyone around you is proceeding towards success.

I’m trying hard to accept this fact……that I actually failed one paper…my first failure in my life ! on my last EOS….issin’t it a shame? This is the only sem that I have the confidence that I will surely pass and yet I failed…. Haha….

I just can’t stop scolding myself, blaming myself, angry over myself….
Wondering where did I go wrong…..wondering why m I the one ….

I’m trying to get through this…picking up my mood to study….to stick back onto my notes…
May be I wasn’t hardworking enough…
May be I wasn’t as clever as others…
May be I’m ….

Come on…..get through these!!!!!!!
I’ll prove the world I deserve a BIG BIG PASS!!

p/s: suppose to post this up on 26 may...but due to some circumstances...there;s some delay