ARGHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!

Arghhhh.......i need to talk!!!!
two more days to my finals and yes.... i'm still blogging over here. I'm quite sure that if some of my coursemates see i'm still onling here, probably their jaws will fall and their eyes will bulged out. Yes, no kidding....when there's exam season, everyone in vista is like transforming into a study machine...nothing else but just sleep n eat with notes.
but yet...i can't. I can't stand with the life of studying notes for 24 hours. Nothing goes into my mind while i was studying just now. That's y i'm here. because there's no one that's free around here to talk wif me as well...haha...that's yi'm watching smallville season 8.. tom welling...charming one...justin hartley...attractive one...alll these people..keep me fr my nervousness....whoa...
What is the purpose of exam actually? sometimes i wonder. is it really test on our understanding? well, in certain extent it did test on our understanding but then mostly on memorising. no kidding. Purely memorised. I'm that type that support open book exam. well yes, may be when it is open book, there will be like question that need more understanding but at least i don't have to memorise that much. Not like now, all is like depends on luck...when u enter exam hall, when u just get to so lucky that u memorise the correct one and still able to vomit out wut is in ur mind...then you score. Well, of course hardworkship is important. U worked hard memorise avthg, then no need to depend on luck. Everything will be just at ur finger tips. But i dunno, may be i'm not as smart as others and may be my brain is not working as well ... i just don't like purely memorising work....

comparatively, i would prefer practical exam rather than just memorising.
But then? well well well , is not the matter whether i like it or don't, it's turning into a duty that i have to follow. duty as a student and as a daughter ( for not dissapointing them)

yes, when u tell others that u r nervous, u afraid that u can't do well, others will just said "try ur best." the word BEST. How to determine best? i always wonder where is my best? well i just it will never be my best until i got the maximum score in everythg. (well, ya is kinda impossible, but BEST means BEST right?)

Anyway exams will still be here in one n a half day time. So, hui shan just good luck and keep it up!

I'm still so far to prefect.

平凡如我

今天,阳光普照.温煦的阳光温暖了大地,也温暖了我的心.
平凡的我在这平凡的一天里,有着平凡的心情.

对, 就是平凡的心情.

突然忆起诗人,徐志摩的诗.

"悄悄的我走了,正如我悄悄的来,
我挥一挥衣袖,不带走一片云彩."

人生不过如此....

今天是美丽的一天,带着平静的心.....送给大家一首歌.

lost.

argh.....i losts my ouhm to study.....i dunno what happen just that this sem i don't feel the energy that drive me to work harder. It is not to say a very tough sem...i enjoy the busy moment....makes my day occupied. But i don't like the exam period. I hate the time when the atmosphere around me start to become so stress..... i wan to live in happiness....free of suffering...mental suffering especially.

Ya...may be is just enough for me to do my best...but where's my best?? i don't know... everytime i said i will try my best...but is it my best?? i dunno where is my best..... i dunno where is my limit....

i always think tat there's potential in everyone...potential that embedded in everyone. Everyone can be a A star student. can i be one of them..... yes i can....may be those who actually read my blog think that i'm boosting... but i really believe that everyone can be a first class student.

Arghh....what m i talking??? is so unstructured... my mind is so so blank i would say. i just feel tat i need to blog...but don't really know what to wrtie...

yes my blog...don't have nice layout...no rainbow colours...no bombastic words....no prefect grammar...but who cares?? is my blog.... so it will follow my way and my styles....

I'm so so lost today.

好想,好想.

不知在何时开始,我也开始变得多愁善感了.别人说,女人就是这么的阴晴不定.
好想好想,去海边.....好想好想,去潜水.....好想好想,无忧无律的去做我想做的事........

耳边旋绕着梁精茹的<满满都是爱>...好幸福的一首歌.

好希望, 我也会被满满的爱包围着.....快快乐乐....

this is what it is.

well well well, i've been very emo for like past two weeks but this few days it becomes better. just out of sudden i start to find back my happiness. The source of happiness.

Recently, there is a lot of issues coming up that trigger out all the 'emo-ing' moment that i have. My frens start to hv their own new relationship and i will suddenly feel that i'm a alone and being left out. Honestly, i do feel jealous and envy. Envy and jealous over what other people have .... thinking of how come their life can be so prefect.... how come they will always get what they want...

N then this few days, i read a lot... books and articles from newspaper. There is a lot that telling us the world outside is so big. There is so much thgs waiting for us to encounter.... for us to explore. There is no need for us to jealous or envy over something we dun hv...because every single one of us is special. There is a special destiny designed for everyone of us. So...jus be patient and wait.....there is something for u...for everyone for us...

But..as a lay person as me...how can i get rid of all those feelings?? jealousy, envy, anger, hatred.......but i trying hard..trying to be more thankful and appreciate what i have now..for this moment.