Beautiful life.

Mood swing day...
Haha there's always this pre-school reopening syndrome. The feeling where i feel like i dun wan to start lecture but yet feel like wan to meet up with friends that haven't meet up for one month plus. Dilemma.

But still no matter how...i love holidays. I love to stay home...hang around with parents...even just spending a day in my room by jus reading books will be good enough.

This holiday...i manage to read up one dhamma book written by Dr Chan Kah Yein. A Kite in the wind. The main concept of this book is embrace simplicity, travel light in life. Everytime after i finish reading one small passage from this book, i will have these feeling that i'm just so lucky to be borned into this world. To embrace the beauty of the universe, spending my time with my family, sharing loves and concerns with families and friends...

One of the words that i love from this book is KISS. Wut crossed ur mind when i mention KISS? well actually KISS is the short form for 'keep it short and simple' neither in the words u say out or the sentence u want to write out. This is also to be implicate into our life. Keep our life simple. Never burden ourself with hatred and jealousy.

Try to love others more, tolerate more and concern more.

Of course, our life always full with ups n downs. Sometimes we like it. sometimes we don't. Cherish the moment u like more, for those u dun like....take it as a challenge, a step stone for u to grow up...something that make u more mature.

Quoted from [A Kite in The Wind]

Fear less, hope more,
Eat less, chew more,
Whine less, breathe more,
Talk less, say more,
Hate less, love more,
And all good things will be yours.
-SWEDISH PROVERB-

Life is beautiful when we start to cherish it and embrace it.
Live in the present. Do all you can , while you still can.

I expect to pass through this world but once;
Any good thing therefore that I can do,
Or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature,
Let me do it now;
Let me not defer or neglect it,
For I shall not pass this way again.

-William Penn n Etienne de Grellet-

Here and now...love everyone around you...
With this, I would like to share my love with everyone that read this passage...

Love,
hui shan...

突然，好想去一趟茨长街

今天，报纸赤裸裸地报道了关于茨长街的历史。
从不知何时开始，我开始爱上历史性的地方。。。那浓浓的历史风味，让我不禁着迷。
身为怡保人，逛茨长街的机会实在是少之有少。
印象最深刻的就是流动的水果小贩。烈日当空，小贩们仍不辞劳苦的卖水果替顾客们消暑解热。
还有那讨价还价的叫卖声。。。。按摩院。。。。小吃摊。。。。那齿夹留香的福建面，超大的烧包。。
。馅多皮薄。。。一口咬下去。。。哇！！！美味美味。。。
还有还有，那清心透凉的罗汉果凉水。。。。还有好多好多的回忆。
但随着时代的变迁，这历史性的地方开始失色。开始留下了回忆。

突然，好想去一趟茨长街。

the sky is still blue...

It's been quite awhile since my last post. Not to say i'm too busy but just dun feel like writing something here. Today...a usual day like it always is...until we received a call from my aunt.

My mom's mother's brother oh well in short i called him my granduncle, passed away. It's a shocking news to us. He used to be so healthy and strong and compassionate in his life. He treats everyone so well and even though we don;t meet each other often and i dunno whether he rmb me or not, but everytime we met he will treat us with the warmest hospitality he can ever gave. The last time we met was like two years ago when his grandson (which is my cousin) got marry. We took a snap shot together. I still rmb he said to me that 'you've grown up so much....still rmb the time when i carry you on my hand...' and today we are apart....seems so near and yet we are too far away. There's always plan ahead...where we said we will pay him a visit next time we go penang.... we will do this do that but all those plan....will only be plans that will never comes true. When we got this news...my mom worried that my grandma can't accept this fact...coz is her brother that live with her for her past 70+ years...they grew up together and been through a lot. My mom and I, together with my bro drove to my grandma's place. My grandma already knew this news when we reached her place. She's strong. She knows that her brother left her forever. She just feel bad that she's unable to visit him while he was hospitalised. She wanted to pay his brother the last respect, which is the only thing she can do now.

It rains whole day here in ipoh...mourning for the lost ... this make me feels how fragile our life can be. Not to say that i can't accept that people are leaving me... i truely understand that our love ones will sooner leave us due to old age but this year, there are too many cases. From my friend's friend....to my best mates grandparents...all of them left us. I hate the feeling of being separated apart. I hate the feeling of making me feel so helpless. I hate to sent my love ones away.

Life is full of up and downs....full of unpredictables...full of happiness and sadness...all these make our life more meaningful. I start to think more on others. Showing more of my concern....making my plans into action before it's too late.
I cherish my family...my friends and everyone around me.

So long...granduncle. The sky is till blue....and we will farewell you with our loves and smiles.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!

Arghhhh.......i need to talk!!!!
two more days to my finals and yes.... i'm still blogging over here. I'm quite sure that if some of my coursemates see i'm still onling here, probably their jaws will fall and their eyes will bulged out. Yes, no kidding....when there's exam season, everyone in vista is like transforming into a study machine...nothing else but just sleep n eat with notes.
but yet...i can't. I can't stand with the life of studying notes for 24 hours. Nothing goes into my mind while i was studying just now. That's y i'm here. because there's no one that's free around here to talk wif me as well...haha...that's yi'm watching smallville season 8.. tom welling...charming one...justin hartley...attractive one...alll these people..keep me fr my nervousness....whoa...
What is the purpose of exam actually? sometimes i wonder. is it really test on our understanding? well, in certain extent it did test on our understanding but then mostly on memorising. no kidding. Purely memorised. I'm that type that support open book exam. well yes, may be when it is open book, there will be like question that need more understanding but at least i don't have to memorise that much. Not like now, all is like depends on luck...when u enter exam hall, when u just get to so lucky that u memorise the correct one and still able to vomit out wut is in ur mind...then you score. Well, of course hardworkship is important. U worked hard memorise avthg, then no need to depend on luck. Everything will be just at ur finger tips. But i dunno, may be i'm not as smart as others and may be my brain is not working as well ... i just don't like purely memorising work....

comparatively, i would prefer practical exam rather than just memorising.
But then? well well well , is not the matter whether i like it or don't, it's turning into a duty that i have to follow. duty as a student and as a daughter ( for not dissapointing them)

yes, when u tell others that u r nervous, u afraid that u can't do well, others will just said "try ur best." the word BEST. How to determine best? i always wonder where is my best? well i just it will never be my best until i got the maximum score in everythg. (well, ya is kinda impossible, but BEST means BEST right?)

Anyway exams will still be here in one n a half day time. So, hui shan just good luck and keep it up!

I'm still so far to prefect.

平凡如我

今天,阳光普照.温煦的阳光温暖了大地,也温暖了我的心.
平凡的我在这平凡的一天里,有着平凡的心情.

对, 就是平凡的心情.

突然忆起诗人,徐志摩的诗.

"悄悄的我走了,正如我悄悄的来,
我挥一挥衣袖,不带走一片云彩."

人生不过如此....

今天是美丽的一天,带着平静的心.....送给大家一首歌.

lost.

argh.....i losts my ouhm to study.....i dunno what happen just that this sem i don't feel the energy that drive me to work harder. It is not to say a very tough sem...i enjoy the busy moment....makes my day occupied. But i don't like the exam period. I hate the time when the atmosphere around me start to become so stress..... i wan to live in happiness....free of suffering...mental suffering especially.

Ya...may be is just enough for me to do my best...but where's my best?? i don't know... everytime i said i will try my best...but is it my best?? i dunno where is my best..... i dunno where is my limit....

i always think tat there's potential in everyone...potential that embedded in everyone. Everyone can be a A star student. can i be one of them..... yes i can....may be those who actually read my blog think that i'm boosting... but i really believe that everyone can be a first class student.

Arghh....what m i talking??? is so unstructured... my mind is so so blank i would say. i just feel tat i need to blog...but don't really know what to wrtie...

yes my blog...don't have nice layout...no rainbow colours...no bombastic words....no prefect grammar...but who cares?? is my blog.... so it will follow my way and my styles....

I'm so so lost today.

好想,好想.

不知在何时开始,我也开始变得多愁善感了.别人说,女人就是这么的阴晴不定.
好想好想,去海边.....好想好想,去潜水.....好想好想,无忧无律的去做我想做的事........

耳边旋绕着梁精茹的<满满都是爱>...好幸福的一首歌.

好希望, 我也会被满满的爱包围着.....快快乐乐....

this is what it is.

well well well, i've been very emo for like past two weeks but this few days it becomes better. just out of sudden i start to find back my happiness. The source of happiness.

Recently, there is a lot of issues coming up that trigger out all the 'emo-ing' moment that i have. My frens start to hv their own new relationship and i will suddenly feel that i'm a alone and being left out. Honestly, i do feel jealous and envy. Envy and jealous over what other people have .... thinking of how come their life can be so prefect.... how come they will always get what they want...

N then this few days, i read a lot... books and articles from newspaper. There is a lot that telling us the world outside is so big. There is so much thgs waiting for us to encounter.... for us to explore. There is no need for us to jealous or envy over something we dun hv...because every single one of us is special. There is a special destiny designed for everyone of us. So...jus be patient and wait.....there is something for u...for everyone for us...

But..as a lay person as me...how can i get rid of all those feelings?? jealousy, envy, anger, hatred.......but i trying hard..trying to be more thankful and appreciate what i have now..for this moment.

love........

what is love....today spend whole day trying hard to put all those management notes into my head...and haha u know when u studying something that u r not really interested, ur mind will start to swing to nowhere. And i start to think of love...boy and girl type of love. there's always never been easy to get the correct man for urself, someone who can fulfill all the so-called ' prefect requirement' on my list...what's the requirement..haha i dun really know...but there's one top most one is that i must feel secure and being protected beside him. ET always said that when there's the right time, at the right place, the right guy will just drop down infront of u... haha i doubt that how high is the probability of this will happen... well thou this thoughts just come in when i feel so depress facing all those stupid notes, pbl and upcoming psd and also assignment that seems to be will take u forever to do it... but when this thought comes in i will just like figuring out hmmm what will happen to do in the next 5 years....
being single still sometimes will be good at least there's no burden and less worries, quarrels and heart break. I've seen too much tears from other couples. however, this doesn't means that i dun trust on relationship.. i still looking forward for it... just let time be and may be really like what ET said....one day the right man will just pop up...

but...when will it be that day???

nothing is good.

is not a good day for me here. Is a day that makes me feel so depress and make me like a loser in everything...no matter whatever i do... what's wrong? haha i dunno is just not my day...

I dunno what happen to me today... is just like so depressing here...i spend whole night 'anasthesing' myself by watching non stop movie marathon. ya i know the exam is coming but i dunno i just feel that i'm so lost ... helpless and alone.....who am i? what's my purpose of life? what do i want and what am i aiming for? i'm totally lost.

i don't like this feeling when i'm like so so so alone and moody and...argh...i dunno how to describe how i feel now...i just feel like i need to get to a place with nice beach, blue sea, blue sky, bright and warm sunshine.......

I lost my happiness today.

me....

i'm never a blogger because i not that type that will stick on to something forever...i easily get distracted and will try out new things every now and then....so is just like writing diary the first few weeks, full with enthutiastic and passion...but as times flies....my passion flies too.....this is why i hardly try out in blogging. But then there is sometimes in a day when u feel so so so likely to jot down ur feelings, and there's no way to go... when u feel like u have something to say but not to anyone...u just feel like u wan to voice out something... then blog is a way i can express i guess... tat's y i named it soul searching...i dunno how long will i write this may be for a few days, few months or forever..may be one day when i'm old... i read back what i wrote in my 20's... ehem..then i will sigh and said ' i used to be young' ... haha but all these will only be true if i start to jot down all the moment that i like to cherish...every moment that i would like to share with others.

so here i am.... first step into the blogger zone.